Tuesday, December 6, 2016

First trailer for 'Transformers: The Last Knight' is filled with Bayhem

What's really left to say about the Transformers franchise? You either like it or you hate it. Michael Bay has made four of these things. They aren't gonna change. They just keep getting more and more ludicrous. The original was a mostly contained story with a large final battle, the first sequel saw things get totally out of control, the third film damn near destroyed the city of Chicago, and the fourth installment introduced giant dinosaur robots before demolishing a major Chinese city. Bay's just going to keep trying to top himself, and anybody who expects something unique or fresh from a Transformers sequel is insane. Subtlety and story cohesion are nowhere to be found in the world of the Autobots and Decepticons, and you either accept that or you walk right past to a different theater. In my opinion, Bay's films are glorious trash. I grew up with this bonkers franchise, and every few years, I sit down and shove popcorn in my face as I watch the finest entertainment computers can create. Watching a Transformers movie is like watching a demolition derby on steroids, and I'm totally cool with that. I've never been ashamed to say that I enjoy these films, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'll be there opening weekend for Transformers: The Last Knight. Yesterday, Paramount unveiled the first trailer for Bay's fifth installment during halftime of ESPN's Monday Night Football. Check it out below!

Okay, so here are just a few of my initial thoughts on this trailer (these are best enjoyed if read while watching the trailer):

-Wait, how the hell did they get Anthony Hopkins to do this?
-Was that a Nazi symbol? World War II robot fighting? Transformers/Dunkirk crossover?
-This is the most dramatic voiceover ever for a Transformers trailer, and that's saying something.
-Three cheers for Aspect Ratio changes!
-"I'm an inventor! I'm so patenting this sh*t!"
-Looks like Josh Duhamel needed another paycheck.
-Didn't we already do the whole Evil Optimus thing in the one where he ripped Megatron's face off and blew Leonard Nimoy's brains out with a shotgun? We're going down this road again?

So I've heard that The Last Knight involves time travel of some kind, as well as a visit back to the days of King Arthur. Honestly, all I can do is laugh. There's plenty of Bayhem on display here, and I'm sure that I'll have a great time watching the famous director blow things up again. I can't say I'm all that interested in the direction of this new series of Transformers films, but honestly, I don't think anyone is. They're just a vehicle for Bay to make the most expensive, outlandish explosions in cinematic history while simultaneously making $1 billion dollars. So yeah, get your earplugs ready for this one.

Transformers: The Last Knight debuts on June 23, 2017.

Image Credit: Coming Soon

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